Here’s the last and the final chapter…
Love can be confusing. I wish it was that simple to know what one’s heart is really set at. Some believe in heart playing the role, Some believe that its just the trick of your mind. So is all this just an illusion? An illusion of being in love with someone when you are just looking for comfort, wanting your heart to be at peace. Wait. That is what being in love feels like or I am just being illusive again. Confused? She was also confused.
It was dawn and she was sitting near the window looking at the sky trying to find the answers to her confusion. Her eyes were not at rest and so was her brain. Edward was the love of her life. She had always imagined what it would be like to know that he loves her too. She would dream of being in his arms and loving him and growing old with him. After all these years, she still thought if he came back to her, she would immediately throw herself in his arms and live the life she had dreams about. Then why was it taking her so long to make that decision that her heart always craved for?
In our imagination we can make our world a fairyland where everything is so easy, every decision is like a piece of cake, every life that touches us is magical but in reality when one has to conclude life’s most important questions it takes everything you have within. This is no more a story telling. This is about every person. This is about you and me. This is about all the people that encircle your life. Do you think after so much of life experiences it would be easy to decide whom you would want to spend your entire life with? No, its not easy. But sometimes or for some people, they just know. Yes, there are such people. They do exists, among us. Sarah also knew some of those people. She wondered how did they know, how it was so easy for them to decide, why it had to be so hard for her? She did not have those answers. People belonging to this side cannot understand this, they have to decide on their own. They have to dig deeper inside their heart to get those answers and she did the same.
“Soulmates?” she thought. “Are they for real? How could there be just one person to whom our soul would connect to? That just sounds impossible. We meet so many people in our lifetime, with some we connect, with some we don’t. We keep those people in the inner circle of our life. With some we are comfortable to share our everyday life’s experience, with some we share our office stories, with some our deep dive fears, with some we just like to spend time. There cannot be just one person with whom we can connect at all the levels in all the areas. Our lives have vast emotions, how can we expect one person to totally understand us in all those emotions? Edward was the one with whom I had that connect at that time. He was there, then but actually he wasn’t there, even at that time. He wasn’t there for me. I always felt this huge pull towards him. I thought it was love. I thought he is the one I wanted throughout my life. He was the one for me. But is that for real? Is he my Soulmate?”
“He could be my soulmate for that time of my life. My soulmate to keep me away from some thing more horrendous. To protect me from some other emotion that might have broken me for life. I felt like that for him at that time for some reason. May be, I was emotionally so weak to sustain this world on my own. So he was there, not mine but there, to get me ready for the world. To be strong enough to withstand any kind of heart break. To move around independently without being dependent upon a certain life. May be my feelings for him were so strong and I was not ready to let go, so that I would not choose someone who was not for mine to be. To have this life’s journey to reach to my destination.”
“Life has guided me here to this one person who has been there for me from the time I met him. He never thought of going away from me. He was with me in all that was good and bad in my life. And then life gave me a final blow on the face by throwing my past back at me. It seems to be cruel. Why did this have to happen? ” She just sat there thinking why would life take this turn and make it so hard for her.
“Yes” she almost shouted. “This had to happen. This was ought to happen. If this was not a part of life’s plan then I would never have known about my doubts about Edward. I never thought that I would have doubts about him. These questions are right. These questions are for real. My feelings for him were real but in my past and now they are not so much feelings than memories. Memories of being in love with someone. If it wasn’t true then it would not have been so difficult to imagine my life with him. It’s getting more and more difficult to think of my life with him. I don’t think that he is my soulmate for the present. I don’t.”
Right then, she had her answer. She had been sitting here for hours going through her life and trying to get an answer for her questions. And she now knew she should be with someone who stood by her when her past came rushing back leaving her in confusion, who was there at that time when she needed someone the most. She knew who was her soulmate and whom she should be with. Sarah smiled and picked up her phone to call the one for her…
This is life for you! Never be disheartened when it does not go the way you thought it would because there is a reason for it. A reason for you to learn something more important, to experience something more beautiful, to meet someone more worthy of you… Enjoy life because this is it!
Love you all..
Author : S