FORGOTTEN LOVE  – Chapter 4 (The Last one! )

Here’s the last and the final chapter…

Love can be confusing. I wish it was that simple to know what one’s heart is really set at. Some believe in heart playing the role, Some believe that its just the trick of your mind. So is all this just an illusion? An illusion of being in love with someone when you are just looking for comfort, wanting your heart to be at peace. Wait.  That is what being in love feels like or I am just being illusive again. Confused? She was also confused.

It was dawn and she was sitting near the window looking at the sky trying to find the answers to her confusion. Her eyes were not at rest and so was her brain. Edward was the love of her life. She had always imagined what it would be like to know that he loves her too. She would dream of being in his arms and loving him and growing old with him. After all these years, she still thought if he came back to her, she would immediately throw herself in his arms and live the life she had dreams about. Then why was it taking her so long to make that decision that her heart always craved for?

In our imagination we can make our world a fairyland where everything is so easy, every decision is like a piece of cake, every life that touches us is magical but in reality when one has to conclude life’s most important questions it takes everything you have within. This is no more a story telling. This is about every person. This is about you and me. This is about all the people that encircle your life. Do you think after so much of life experiences it would be easy to decide whom you would want to spend your entire life with? No, its not easy. But sometimes or for some people, they just know. Yes, there are such people. They do exists, among us. Sarah also knew some of those people. She wondered how did they know, how it was so easy for them to decide, why it had to be so hard for her? She did not have those answers. People belonging to this side cannot understand this, they have to decide on their own. They have to dig deeper inside their heart to get those answers and she did the same.

“Soulmates?” she thought. “Are they for real? How could there be just one person to whom our soul would connect to? That just sounds impossible. We meet so many people in our lifetime, with some we connect, with some we don’t. We keep those people in the inner circle of our life. With some we are comfortable to share our everyday life’s experience, with some we share our office stories, with some our deep dive fears, with some we just like to spend time. There cannot be just one person with whom we can connect at all the levels in all the areas. Our lives have vast emotions, how can we expect one person to totally understand us in all those emotions? Edward was the one with whom I had that connect at that time. He was there, then but actually he wasn’t there, even at that time. He wasn’t there for me. I always felt this huge pull towards him. I thought it was love. I thought he is the one I wanted throughout my life. He was the one for me. But is that for real? Is he my Soulmate?”

“He could be my soulmate for that time of my life. My soulmate to keep me away from some thing more horrendous. To protect me from some other emotion that might have broken me for life. I felt like that for him at that time for some reason. May be, I was emotionally so weak to sustain this world on my own. So he was there,  not mine but there, to get me ready for the world. To be strong enough to withstand any kind of heart break. To move around independently without being dependent upon a certain life. May be my feelings for him were so strong and I was not ready to let go, so that I would not choose someone who was not for mine to be. To have this life’s journey to reach to my destination.”

“Life has guided me here to this one person who has been there for me from the time I met him. He never thought of going away from me. He was with me in all that was good and bad in my life. And then life gave me a final blow on the face by throwing my past back at me. It seems to be cruel. Why did this have to happen? ” She just sat there thinking why would life take this turn and make it so hard for her.

“Yes” she almost shouted. “This had to happen. This was ought to happen. If this was not a part of life’s plan then I would never have known about my doubts about Edward. I never thought that I would have doubts about him. These questions are right. These questions are for real. My feelings for him were real but in my past and now they are not so much feelings than memories. Memories of being in love with someone. If it wasn’t true then it would not have been so difficult to imagine my life with him. It’s getting more and more difficult to think of my life with him.  I don’t think that he is my soulmate for the present. I don’t.”

Right then, she had her answer. She had been sitting here for hours going through her life and trying to get an answer for her questions. And she now knew she should be with someone who stood by her when her past came rushing back leaving her in confusion, who was there at that time when she needed someone the most. She knew who was her soulmate and whom she should be with. Sarah smiled and picked up her phone to call the one for her…

———–xxx————

This is life for you! Never be disheartened when it does not go the way you thought it would because there is a reason for it. A reason for you to learn something more important, to experience something more beautiful, to meet someone more worthy of you… Enjoy life because this is it!

Love you all..

Author : S

Continue reading

Forgotten Love #Chapter 1

Some stories are well written, some are  just well read….

She could sense that the chaos of this ever breathing concrete jungle is driving her crazy. If she continues to scurry alongside this mess, she will lose it this time. Sarah stormed out of the hospital building, got into her car and started driving without knowing where to go. She just wanted away from everything, all the pain, tears, harassment, sadness. She took the highway which would take her out of the city.

Lot of thoughts flooded into her head as she took the road to Lake Tahoe. She didn’t even realize why and how she took that decision to go to the Tahoe City. It was 9:30 in the night when she reached there. She knew the hotel she wanted to stay in. She had always stayed there during her past visits. This was her favorite getaway but her busy life didn’t allow her to come here in past several years. Drive from Sacramento to Lake Tahoe and the painful day had exhausted her completely, she threw herself on the bed and slept.

Next morning, Sarah woke from her sleep by the knock on the door. It was room service with the tea. Sipping her tea she decided to go out to buy some clothes and other essentials. She got ready and left for the nearby shopping area. Breathing the fresh air and silence of the surroundings made her feel better. After shopping, she went to a nearby cafe to start with the book she had just purchased and a cup of coffee. She took a table outside and waited for her order while enjoying the beauty of the place. As she took the first sip, she saw a familiar face across the street. He smiled at her, waved and started crossing the street walking towards her. As he approached her, memories from her past flashed in front of her eyes. Edward, her childhood friend who was also her first love was standing in front of her. He hugged her and sat across her. “How have you been, Sarah? Haven’t seen you for so long? Did you forget your old friends?” She was speechless for a moment, but realized it soon and replied with a smile, “I am doing fine. I know, It’s been long. How are you?”

Edward had never known about Sarah’s feelings and was really happy to see his old friend. During the conversation, he told her that he is there for a conference and would love to meet her before leaving for Los Angeles. They decided to meet for dinner the same day. “I will pick you up at 7.” he said and left.

Sarah opened the door after listening to the knock and found Edward standing there. He still looked the same. Eyes full of passion, smile that brightens the room, face so calm and peaceful that would melt anyone’s heart. He had grown more handsome with years. They went to a small restaurant by the lake and spoke about their childhood days. They decided to go for a walk near the lake under the moonlit sky.

He held her hand and finally asked, “What’s wrong, Sarah? Is it okay if I ask? We know each other since childhood and I know there is something bothering you. I have never seen you this quiet.”

She shrugged, “It’s nothing, Edward.’  He said, “You know you can share anything with me. You might feel better.” and patted her hand. She had never been able to share her feelings with anyone, but Edward. She looked at him and smiled. “I am going through a rough patch in life. I know I will recover but right now I am not in the place I really love being.” She took a little pause and continued to pour her heart out. Her voice was trembling with pain, “I was in a relation with someone. Erick, he works with me in the same hospital. We were really happy together. Everything was going great until one day. I returned home after my shift and all his things were gone. He had left me a note accusing me of things I had not done. I tried to talk to him about it but he didn’t respond. We work together and so it becomes more difficult. It is heart breaking to see him there all the time. And now…” Her big blue eyes were filled with tears. She controlled them and continued, “he has started humiliating me in front of others. His taunts, meaningless words crushes me. I feel like a fool of being with that man for two years.” Edward wrapped his arms around her. She couldn’t control and big drops for tears rolled down her cheeks. She did not even realize when these words came out of her mouth, “It was very difficult for me to put an end to my feelings towards you. It took me years to get over you. I had never thought that I will have go through that ever again in my life. But my fete..” She suddenly stopped, realizing what she has done. He was still holding her, but there was an expression of disbelief on his face. Sarah freed herself from him and ran without looking back. Edward stood there looking at her as she vanished in the dark of the night.

It was late evening when she came out of her room next day. Still in shock and angry at herself for what she has done. She had lost her friend once in past, but now she was not ready to lose him again. She decided to tell him everything, that how she felt about him, since when she started seeing something more than just a friend in him, every single thing. Having all these thoughts, Sarah walked down the street towards Edward’s hotel.

Reaching the hotel, she saw Edward walking out towards his car which was waiting for him and she started walking fast to reach him. But her feet froze when she heard that voice. Yes, she was right, that was Jane coming out of the hotel calling his name. He looked back and smiled at her, taking her in his arms, he kissed her. A little girl around three years, came running and hugged them. Edward picked her up, gave a little kiss on her cheek and put her in the car seat. Doors were closed and without looking back Edward drove away.

Sarah looked at the car till it disappeared in the distance….

Who is Jane? Why didn’t Edward tell Sarah about her? Does he also have feelings for her?

Why did Erick broke up with Sarah?  How did her lost brain decide to come to Lake Tahoe?

To be continued in next chapter…

Author : S

Burning Fire.

Aaaaaaaa to start with, this is not a story but rather an experience..

It’s been a cold day. Well, not as cold as mid-Jan freeze feeling but yup cold enough to keep my heater on and put on my cozy lil’ sock. I dragged myself out of bed in the middle of night to get some water. Poured a glass, kept it in microwave to warm a little (don’t wanna get an itchy throat) and wandered around in the living room till the beep goes on.

Passing my time, I looked through the glass door of the patio and across the trees I could see the dark parking lot, church building, playground. Nothing unusual.. All so peaceful, serene. I was enjoying the quiet when the beep of microwave went on. And that very moment my eyes caught the attention of the fire. It was behind all the buildings. I panicked. I went outside on the patio and was stuck by this sudden cold breeze. I froze. Didn’t know what to do. You know those instances when you are just blank. This was one of that time for me.

I was looking at this one n half meter long stretch of fire, wondering what’s happening when I realized this is impossible. There is a lake just behind all the buildings. How is this even possible. Technically, nope. Or is it one of those pollution disaster. Nooooo.., not a chance…  It must be something else.

AND then I saw it. I saw that monster. The monster that did it all. A tall street light. Yes, that’s the thing that was making the illusion of burning fire on the water. Trust me, it looked exactly like yellow fire on the surface. Water was not stagnant due to the wind and due to street light, yellow colored radiance was reflecting from the surface of water which gave the impression of the blaze. Have you heard about those mirages in the desert, when light rays from sun produces an appearance of image that looks like water on the sand from a distance. Like that.

Believe me guys, my head processed all this within seconds of seeing the fire illusion. That’s how our brain works. Analyzing. Reasoning. Wonderful gift of god. But yeah, today I was fooled by the street light and that’s my experience for the day. Take away – I love that little thing inside my head “Brain”. Still nature tricks us! So keep an open mind and enjoy it to the fullest. The calmness and the harshness, both comes hand in hand.

Until next time..! Ta Da.

Short Story #1 – Mysterious Car!

….color my life with chaos of it!!!

What’s with the Car!!

So here I was sitting in my balcony enjoying a chilled drink in a hot summer night and then, I see this car in the parking lot. Okay Yeah, reviving back to give the feel of the exact surroundings of my living. I stay in the third floor of a building. Facing my balcony is the parking lot of the nearby church. Lot of people you can see coming here on Sundays. My bedroom window blinds are usually off and on Sunday morning I see all these people coming to reach their inner self and load God with the happiness, joy or grief or boredom or whatsoever…

Okay so coming back to the day1 of my story. I was enjoying my drink and it was getting dark, these days it’s hot and sky with no stars. Weather is not so cool. I was hopping between the balcony and my living room. It was hot outside so to cool myself from the heat I would go inside for some relief. My favorite songs were playing and I was in a pretty good mood, when I suddenly noticed this Car standing still in the parking lot. It was right in front of my apartment, at least that’s what I thought. It was around 1 o clock and I could sense no activity from there. Can you imagine a car standing there in the middle of darkness and nothing happening? I didn’t see it coming there, no headlights. Nothing. At first I was little suspicious and I kept looking at it for some sign of life. But no go. And then I got busy with the songs and some stuff & when I looked out while going to bed, it was gone. This was it.

Next day I got up and had completely forgotten about last night’s incident. Well it was not an incident, just a car…

Day 2 I told about this car to a friend who joked stating that may be a stalker. And you know what, we were pretty seriously joking about this stalker. Believe me, it felt real fun. So next day as usual I was cooking dinner, watching this movie ‘Oh My God!’, enjoying the night. This movie made me thinking about how I also don’t believe in the concept of idol worship. Yeah I do believe in positive energy that balances the universe. And then suddenly I looked outside my balcony’s mirrored door and there it was, The Car, parked exactly in the same spot looking towards my apartment. I almost jumped from my place and was pretty scared. I started wondering what it could be, or who it could be. Some people who hang out there to have some fun but I could sense no activities in there. A funny thought crossed my head ‘it is not moving at all’ so can’t be it. It was a mystery for me which made me pretty interested…

This car would just appear and then disappear. And that’s what happened on day 2 as well. After some time it was just woof….gone… I went to bed and dozed off.

I was puzzled by this car. I was just trying to put all the clues in place to get to some conclusion. I also thought of going to the parking lot some day and check for myself. Haah, that’s not going to happen. Wink!

I kept seeing this car for the next entire week. It would suddenly appear, always facing towards my apartment and would be there till I put off my light. When I check early in the morning, it would not be there. Just a night friend, I thought.

I clearly remember it was a hot Sunday night and I have completed my household chores. Spoke to my mother on phone. And started reading a book – Sycamore Row. Yes, as always the Car was there. I was pretty used to it by then and had somehow made up mind that he is the stalker. I was always alert in its presence. I was in the interesting point in the book, when I saw lights in the parking lot, some torch light.  I ran outside to my balcony and saw the light approaching the car. I saw a man like figure with a dog looking around the parking lot like a night watch. Ha Ha. So this stalker of mine was a night guard on duty of the church’s parking lot and the mystery was solved. After he finished his round around the area, he got inside his car with the dog and was gone.

I was laughing at myself and my stories about all the stalker stuff. It was fun but I hoped it would have continued for a bit long. It kept me involved and think and make up stories like kids. It was such a beautiful innocent feeling, childlike curiosity and happiness to be a part of a cool mystery. It was over and my mysterious car was no more a mystery.

However, it’s not yet over. You think, it is. Nope. I never saw that car again after that day. The man with the dog was gone. Can you believe it? As if God had sent this one Car to spark the long forgotten child inside me. Like wise men have said that ‘You search for it and you dive in. Once you find it, it’s all yours. You don’t need any more proofs’.  So have I found the positive energy I always talk about…? Has it ignited the lost passion in me? Yes, for sure. Can you imagine I am writing again? I am thinking like a child again as if there is nothing to worry about. Live in the moment as it is to never pass.

Like I always say or rather thought, that every incident in your life is an experience which teaches you something or ignites something in you. So here with the mysterious Car experience I learnt to always think like a child and try to grab on to that innocence as long as possible..

Au revior! Will see you soon with another mystery…

Author : S